


trojan horse

by orphan_account



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, FANTASTIC THERES A TAG FOR IT, Gen, Mild Blood, Sora Has Issues (Kingdom Hearts), Thats why its rated teen, also for mentions of sora mutilating heartless, ao3 maybe you are not such a disappointment after all, not sure how to tag as usual, sora needs therapy asmr, well im, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26453506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: the darkness comes with a cost
Relationships: Kairi & Riku & Sora (Kingdom Hearts), the usual sorikai if you squint
Comments: 20
Kudos: 42





	trojan horse

**Author's Note:**

> back to our regularly scheduled angst :3  
> i guess this is a character study of sorts? but of courses its rage form cus. its me. y'know. gestures vaguely  
> i am very hooked on the idea that sora is. essentially a heartless at heart sknnf. any of my kh and non kh friends would know that i have constant brainrot about it <3 ily all

Rage form is like Anti form, but different in so many ways.

Anti form was unstable, unpredictable and unrestrained. He would go from considering someone a friend to considering someone a foe at the drop of the hat, and wouldn't even wait a heartbeat before attacking them. It was never something he controlled, it was always something that snuck up on him little by little, bit by bit, until it overwhelmed him completely. It was frightening. The memories after were always hazy, but Sora will never forget the numerous cuts on his skin, the black tar in his mouth, and the lingering feeling of something that could only be vicious, primal instinct.

~~_(And the fear that swirled in the eyes of his Lights.)_ ~~

Rage form was similar at first, with the way it was utterly _terrifying_ . His building anger had quickly turned into fear when darkness swamped him, and left nothing but a red haze, a hollow hunger and a burning desire to _kill_. When the darkness finally drained away, he was left feeling exhausted, a deep ache settling in his bones as he completely collapsed. Donald and Goofy had been at his side in an instant, but Sora couldn't miss the hesitance in their hands and the lingering terror in their eyes. It made him feel sick, along with the gap in his memories that felt all too familiar.

The second time though was so, so different. He had been outnumbered, mana depleted and potions empty, too far from Donald and Goofy for them to toss an ether or cast a hasty Cure. There was nowhere for him to go, and a paralyzing fear had knotted itself tight in his heart. 

And then, as all options were exhausted, one made itself available.

Darkness brushed at the edges of his Heart, and in a moment of pure desperation, he let it come rushing in like a wave. The darkness that seeped across his skin hadn't been cold, but a strange sort of warm instead, weirdly comforting. He would never admit it, but he reveled in the feeling as the shadows swallowed him from the inside out. And as they overtook him, his Heart sang with dark power.

This time, he remembered.

His thoughts had been so scattered, drowned out by instincts screaming to **_bitetearkill the dark,_ ** but also seemed clearer than ever before, sharp like crystal. Instincts, something that he shouldn’t have, yet they felt so _natural_ . His keyblade had still remained in his grasp unlike before, the bright silver and gold eclipsed by shadow, but the idea of using his own hands, his _claws_ , to rip through the **_dirtybadwrong_ ** was all too tempting. A sickly sweet satisfaction filled his Heart as spindly claws tore through the fleshy darkness of a **_littlepestfilthy_ ** and his keyblade ripped through a **_littlewartoy_ **’s armour.

He had never felt more _alive_.

When the darkness peeled itself away from him, he was almost disappointed, a lingering feeling of contentment settling deep in his Heart, even though it left him aching. It had been so cathartic, cutting through the Heartless with such ease. He flexed his hands. He had felt powerful.

Though he'd never said, he'd always felt slightly empty before then, like he was missing a part of himself, but now…

He knew how to complete himself.

From then on, slipping into the form became easier with each passing battle. Restrained anger and hatred drenched him in darkness and made his eyes burn crimson, and it felt _good,_ it felt _right_ . For the first time since the incident at Hollow Bastion, now just a frayed and worn memory, he felt _whole._ The hollow in his Heart had finally been filled.

And if tearing through a couple shadow’s with his very teeth kept him from collapsing in on himself under the strain of _everything_ , then who was he to complain? It was almost like free therapy.

But Kairi and Riku did not approve of said therapy, at all.

Riku’s face, when Sora had offhandedly mentioned it, was like death itself. Kairi’s was just as ashen, pale with barely masked horror as he _gloated_ about the pleasure of black sin coating his teeth and hands. Riku had been beyond disbelief, they had even shouted at him, teal eyes full of a sort of worried anger. 

“You’re being too reckless Sora.” They had said. “Don’t forget what lurks in the shadows.”

Kairi’s words had been a little softer, more reasoning, but equally as firm.

“You need to be careful Sora. I get how you feel, but this is _not_ the way you should take. It’s not the way _we_ want you to take.”

Sora had scoffed at them in response, a little more rudely that necessary, spitefully saying that he didn’t need their opinion on coping mechanisms. If he came out with a few scratches and bruises, he could live with that just fine. Better than completely crumbling under the weight of the literal Worlds. That had only served to make Riku more furious and in turn, that only made Sora even more angry and hurt and why couldn’t they _just understand that he_

Darkness had swallowed him so quickly he hadn’t even been able to manage a choked breath as black smoke pooled in his mouth.

It tasted like ash.

For the first time in who knows how long, he didn’t remember, and that _terrified_ him.

Kairi had him pinned down when he came back to himself, vibrant red blood dripping from a trio of gashes on her cheek. She had been so relieved, squeezing him into a tight hug and burying her face into his shoulder, muttering his name like a prayer.

From behind her, Riku had given him nothing but a hard stare, cuts littered on their arms, eyes holding a slightly childish taunt of ‘I told you so’. And just with that, crippling guilt had welled up within Sora and spilled down his cheeks in the form of tears, wiping the look off of Riku’s face instantly, as he sobbed his Heart out to them.

He had been so stupid, so foolish, so _ignorant_. And now he’d ended up hurting the people closest to him all over again.

~~(Just like before.)~~

How Kairi and Riku managed to forgive him, he doesn't know. They should’ve just left him, arrogant and petty like he is. 

No wonder he felt so complete. His darkness is just as sick as him, but that would make perfect sense, wouldn’t it?

...

Rage form is like Anti form in so many ways, but mainly one.

Powerful, but at the cost of reason.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! comment and kudos would be epic :]


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